I say we leave the aliens alone. Not much good can come from bothering them.
People say aquariums are evil. I’d argue that it’s the ocean itself that’s evil.
Waiting in line for anything isn’t worth it.
I once bought Head & Shoulders shampoo in a bodega but the label was in some foreign language. It made my hair greasy so I thought it was counterfeit. Turns out it was just conditioner.
People who write kids' shows are weird. Who's like, "This is a thought a child would enjoy"?
I was at a concert once and someone threw beer bottles into the crowd and I caught one. That's the closest I've ever come to winning something.
Let people wear and complain about what they want. I am tired of this debate.
It's ridiculous that chefs call each other "Chef." You're not a doctor.
Kindergarten teachers should be able to have a few beers during work.
As people waste our time debating how much to tip baristas (the correct amount: the small pile of coins they give back to you after your transaction is complete) and bartenders ($1 per drink), a second, much more significant beverage problem has once again been overlooked: the frustrating delays caused by people who…
My prediction: Kanye will be bad for four to five years.
All nuggets are pretty good. Gold, chicken, etc.
Perfume and cologne should be illegal or at least highly regulated like buying a gun.
Clowns and spiders are overrated scary things. What's really scary is chronic neck pain.
I think season two of True Detective will be good.
Every week there's some new shit with the moon. I'm tired of the moon.
Of all the new "sports" to try, I think rock climbing is lowest on the list.
There are already too many websites.
Corn on stuff is bad. Corn should just stay on corn.
Christmas is the most overrated holiday.